Intimacy Doesn't Equal Sex and How To Do It Right By Dani Spikes

    As a Relationship Coach, I often sit across my desk from couples that are at odds. One wants to feel more connected, wants to feel more in tune with their partner. The other has a deer in the headlights look. The second party in question has no idea what is going on, how they got to my office, or whose paying for the bill.
There's obviously a disconnect in this couple and believe it or not, it happens more often than not. Sometimes, along the way we can get disconnected from our partner on what intimacy is or what it means. Although sex is a form of intimacy, it isn't the only form of intimacy. There are so many ways to connect with your partner that can bring the both of you together in a more connected an intimate way. 
Here are three simple ways to switch up the intimacy in your relationship and how to connect with your partner. 
1. Ask how are you doing? Then listen! In a digital time and space, we are on our phones more than we ever have. SImple questions like how are you, how are you doing and how are you feeling are simple ways to check in with your partner and create a deeper connection with them. It reminds them how you feel about them and what they mean to you. Here's the MOST IMPORTANT PART, LISTEN!!!! Listen to what they are saying. Put your cellular phone on silent, make sure there is nothing pressing to do. Clear your space and ensure your partner knows that their well being, both emotionally and physically is important to you.
2.Be Honest About Feeling Disconnected.  Open a line of communication about how you are honestly feeling at the moment in your relationship. By allowing your partner to peek into how you are feeling can help both of you feel more connected and will allow both of you to open up in other ways. (Do with that last statement what you will.)
3.Stare into each other eyes. Sounds lame? I don't care. I start every Spiked Brunch with the same exercise and it helps couples come together and set the intention for the brunch. Take as long as you need, I recommend playing a meaningful song to the both of you to measure time. Use this exercise as a reset button for your relationship whenever you feel the both of you drifting away from each other emotionally.
Have additional questions about intimacy? Need more advice on how to re-connect with your partner? Email me at 

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